How Do We Measure Success?

Last week, I was sitting in the bathroom at a friend’s apartment in the West Village after Pride, listening to my mates sing Delta Goodrem in the next room. They sounded awful - but so happy. And I had this quiet little moment, grinning to myself, struck by how simple and joyful life can feel when it’s full of the right people and the right energy.

That’s when it hit me: surely this is success.

Not the traditional kind we’re sold. Not the loud, linear kind - the one that’s all about climbing, accumulating, achieving. But a softer, quieter version.

I’ve never been one for five-year plans or traditional life timelines. I’ve never been driven by status or money (perhaps to my own detriment). I care more about how life feels than how it looks on paper.

Is there space to be present?
Are there people to laugh with, cry with, create memories with?
Do I feel free? Am I creating? Do I feel happy?

That’s always been my version of success - even if it comes with a bit of chaos and a less-than-consistent income.

Late-stage capitalism would have us believe success is about output. Productivity. A full calendar. A fuller bank account. But that version feels narrow - and increasingly hollow.

Of course, we all need to pay the bills. I’m not romanticising instability - and being a freelance creative in New York City is fucking hard - don’t let my Instagram fool you. There are days when the uncertainty feels a little overwhelming. When I acknowledge that things would be easier had I chosen a steadier path. When I look at friends with reliable salaries and wonder what that might feel like.

But then I ask myself: would I trade the life I’ve built for one that’s more predictable?

The answer is a resounding no.

Because for me, success reveals itself in smaller ways.
A rooftop beer watching the sky turn pink over Manhattan.
The ability to fly to another country to visit friends.
Relationships with depth.
Feeling creative. Feeling healthy. Feeling loved.

That’s the stuff that makes me feel rich.

And I don’t think I’m alone in this. So many of us - especially in our generation - are starting to redefine what a good life looks like. Not out of rebellion, but out of necessity. I don’t want to delay my happiness.

We’re taught that joy is something you earn once you’ve proven your worth. But what if the good life isn’t something you earn - what if it’s something you notice?

I had the chance to chat to Pharrell Williams at a film premiere last year (wild sentence, I know), and one of the things he said was:
“Find what you love doing, and do it as often as you can.”
It stuck with me. Because I really think it is that simple.

We spend so much time putting life on hold:
“I’ll relax once I get promoted.”
“I’ll move overseas when I’ve saved enough.”
“I’ll date her when I feel more ready.”

But life doesn’t wait. It’s happening in real time.

And if your calendar’s jammed with structure and strategy, there’s no room left for spontaneity - which is where so many of the good moments live. The random midweek nights out that escalate. The unexpected conversations that turn into bits of wisdom the shift your perspective. The detours that lead somewhere better than what you planned.

The chaotic way I live my life and the very broke tightrope I walk is not for everyone, I get that. All I’m saying is make sure the version of success you’re chasing is your own. And something you have genuinely reflected on. Because there are many ways to live a life.

So, what does success look like for you?

I’d really love to hear it.

Mel x